Emergency Chaplains Report

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Stressed Out

Chaplain’s Notes*****Ralph Thompson, Durham County EMS Chaplain

My wife asked me the other day, “Who do you talk to when you get overloaded with stress?”


“Why do you ask?” I asked.


“Because you are stressed out,” was the answer.


My wife was right. I was stressed. How did she know?


She just knows.


Her point was made and we began to talk about the past week. As I stopped to think, I realized that I had not been sleeping like I should. I was having problems falling asleep and staying asleep.


My eating habits were all messed up. Snacks were up. Nutrition was down. Caffeine intake was too high and protein intake was too low.


My blood pressure was up and my mood was down. My expectations were high and my temper was short.


We talked about what was going on in my “real job” as an associate pastor. There were job evaluations to write and a budget to prepare. There was a class to prepare for and visits to make.


Our church was in the middle of introducing a new worship schedule that includes 3 services every Sunday morning.


Then there was home.


“The house needs to be painted,” she reminded me. “Yeah,” I added, “and it’s almost time for a new roof and the AC should have been replaced last year.”


The check engine light came on again in my wife’s car while she was driving to the doctor’s office to try and find out why she can’t seem to keep her weight up.


Then we talked about Buddy, our 14-year-old dog. We joked about getting him a hearing aid and some glasses.


We laughed about the vet strongly urging us to have his teeth cleaned and at the same time cautioning us that the anesthesia might kill a dog his age.


Guess we will put up with the bad breath. I just couldn’t see spending that much money on a gamble that the dog would live to see tomorrow—when I know he probably won’t see next year.


Then I remembered that I had been burning the candle at both ends running EMS calls with you guys and with Bethesda.


In a one-week stretch, I started out with a couple of cardiac arrests and then I went BLUE.


It seems like every call I went on turned out to be some sort of blue tag.


Some of the blue tags were light blue. You know, just a little kooky. Then there were a couple that were totally nuts. Navy blue tags. Dark navy blue.


One of the calls was so crazy that I just can’t even begin to explain it to you. If I start trying to tell you about it you will think that I am the one who should be in the straitjacket.


As I reminisced, I realized some of the job stress that you encounter on the streets. Every one of you have the day to day pressures of life that any average person has—and then you pile Code 5’s, blue tags and frequent flyers on top of that.


Not to mention the trauma. It was a trauma call that sent me over the top.


10-50, PI. It’s amazing with all the plain text radio talk we can’t seem to find any that is an acceptable substitute for 10-50.


The code talk continued on the scene. After the medic unit had left for the hospital I moved over to speak with one of the officers on the scene.


“Looks like an F-Frank to me,” he said. Another officer came up and they repeated the F-Frank talk. I thought how impersonal they made it sound.


Another officer came up. He talked about F-Frank, too. I wondered if they knew any words other than the F (Frank) word.


I moved over to the car and inspected the mangled mess and replayed the video from my mind.


A young woman, the same age as my oldest niece had been struck in the driver’s side by a much larger vehicle. I remembered the blood that streamed down her face from the lacerations on her scalp and forehead.


I remembered her eyes seemed to be fixed at one point. She was seizing. She was pinned in the vehicle. It was not pretty.


I sort of snapped out of it and came back to the present. I looked at the bloodstains and the seat that had been pushed over into the center of the car and I began to cry. As I wept, I prayed for this young lady. I also prayed for my fellow rescuers—especially that God would guard their hearts and minds.


Being the tough guy that I am I only allowed myself a minute to cry—there was still work to do. I sucked up the sniffles and checked in with command to see what I needed to do next.


Later that night my wife told me that I was stressed out (see page 1, paragraph 1) and she helped me de-brief the week.


Whew! It was good to be able to talk about it and to be reminded that we all need someone to talk to—even the preacher.


As I thought about the question of who to talk to, I remembered that my wife is always there for me. I also have a fellow chaplain that I can talk to along with a close pastor friend.


The Bible gave me a reminder that very night of where my hope and my strength come from. I was listening to a sermon by Adrian Rogers and it just happened to be on stress. He used Isaiah 40:28-31 for the passage.


28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.


What an awesome promise! Everybody will have stress, problems and issues. That’s life.


But God’s promises are bigger than life. He is the source of hope.


Verse 31 is my prayer for each of you. I pray that you will place your hope in the Lord and watch Him renew your strength so that you will soar on wings like eagles and that you will be strong and not grow weary.


Have a great month and be safe out there.

Many Blessings!

Chaplain Ralph

Ralph Thompson, Durham County EMS Chaplain

A Vacation To Remember

Chaplain’s Notes/////Ralph Thompson, Durham County EMS Chaplain

It was the last week of September. We were on vacation. The condo was oceanfront. The weather was perfect. My family was excited.

I was sick.

I won’t bore you with the details of my illness—but I can tell you that there is no place like home when you are sick.

A room with an oceanfront view is no comfort when all you want is that old sofa in your own den.

On the second day my wife said, “Let’s go home. You will be more comfortable there.”

“No,” was my response.

“Why not?” she asked.

My answer began to ramble at that point. My stubborn self would not leave because we had paid in advance. I’m way too much of a tightwad to leave a paid up condo unused.

My rational self would not leave because I knew that I would feel just as sick at home. Even though I would be more comfortable at home—my wife and son were very comfortable where they were.

The verdict? We stayed right up till check out time on the last day. I figured if star athletes perform in spite of the pain then I could to.

As a husband and a father, I had duties and responsibilities to my wife and son. I promised them a vacation. I was going to deliver. Even if it killed me.

I survived and now we have another goofy expedition to laugh about in the years to come.

There was one prevailing principle that I remembered as I was curled up in the bed, in pain, moaning, crying and feeling sorry for myself.

“It’s not about me.”

That’s it. “It’s not about me”. That statement is the opening line in a book by Rick Warren titled, “The Purpose Driven Life”.

Even though Rick uses “it’s not about me” to open his book, it is not an original thought of his.

As a matter of fact “it’s not about me” was a statement that I had used for years before Rick Warren ever wrote his book.

Did Rick Warren steal my thought and use it to write a best selling book? Did he forget to include me in the credits? Did I even get a footnote?

Actually, Rick learned the “it’s not about me” idea from the same source that I did. The Bible.

We were able to salvage some good times from our vacation. We were able to get out on the beach a few times and we ate out every night.

True, it could have been better—but we made the best of the week and were still able to spend some valuable time together as a family—even if daddy was not feeling well.

My wife is a champion at “It’s not about me.” That makes it easier for me to do the same.

When we got married over 20 years ago, we promised to serve each other. The only way to do that is to think more of the other person than you do yourself. Put the other person’s needs ahead of yours.

Your personal pride and selfishness are the natural enemies to serving another person. It is difficult to be a servant to someone who should be serving you. It is tough to give up a good night of sleep to run a frivolous call.

Why do you do that? “It’s not about you”.

When you are a rookie and gung ho about EMS, you relish the calls. You serve with gusto and enthusiasm. All calls are good.

Some folks are able to work their entire career and see the good in all calls. That person is a rare bird.

Even those with the greatest attitude will sometimes qualify calls based more on their attitude at the time rather than their call to serve others.

We have to be careful to not allow bitterness to creep in and affect our attitude.

No matter how frivolous the call, or how many times we have been there—it’s not about you.

It’s about the one who called for help. It’s about the family of the patient. It’s about being a servant to others when our human nature says to be selfish.

Look at these words of Jesus as recorded in Matthew 25:

“Then the King will say…For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we [do this]?”

“The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”

“It’s not about me” is the principle of giving of oneself for others. It is the standard that I seek to live by everyday.

Thanks for all you do. Have a great month and be safe out there as we “serve the least of these”.

Many Blessings!

Chaplain Ralph

Ralph Thompson, Durham County EMS Chaplain

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Bless Your Heart

February brings back all kinds of memories. Warming up by the wood stove at my Grandpa’s house. Hot chocolate. Sleds, snowball fights and Valentine’s Day. It is “Heart” month.

When I was in the 3rd grade our teacher helped us set up a Valentine’s Post Office in our classroom. Each student had a mailbox and classmates were encouraged to exchange Valentines by dropping them into the mailboxes.

Every day I would go to my mailbox hoping that someone had sent me a card. Most days it was empty. I got a card from my teacher but that doesn’t count. There were a couple of other days that I found cards in my box. They were the cheesy type—bought in bulk—signed in a hurry—and given to everyone in the class without any personal message or even thought put into it.

Most of the kids in my class had been together for more than 2 years and I was the new kid in town. Although school had been in session for 5 months—I still was not truly accepted by my classmates.

Yet, every day I would go to the box hoping that someone had remembered me. Most every day I would leave my box with a Charlie Brown complex. Nobody liked me. I wanted to be liked.

As you read this you may be thinking, “Bless his heart.” Have you ever heard that? What does “Bless his heart” mean?

It seems to be a Southern thing. You can use that expression when you feel sorry for someone. In other circumstances it is used to avoid gossip. You know what I mean. Someone will talk about the shortcomings or failures of a person and they follow it with “bless his heart.”

Common belief is that you can say anything about anyone and follow it with a sincere “bless his heart” and you are not gossiping. I don’t think that is true.

What does it mean to “bless a heart”? Our job, as Christians, is to bless the very heart of God. We do this by obediently loving people. We serve Christ by serving others. By serving others the very heart of God Almighty is blessed.

Let me share this example with you. I received an e-mail from Teressa Bays recently. She wrote that the Women on Mission had arranged for volunteers to help with testing at Bethesda Elementary School. The school was desperate for help. These women stepped up to volunteer their time. The teachers and the kids will notice that these women are full of love. My heart was blessed to the point of bursting from this news. I know that God’s heart was blessed.

There was a home that caught fire in our neighborhood in January and so many of you shared your blessings with the family in need. As I made one delivery, I noticed there was a pair of tennis shoes for the teenager. I looked in the box and realized that the woman who donated these shoes had actually bought them for herself. It just happened that there was a 13-year-old girl that needed them worse and it also “just happened” that they were exactly the right size. The heart of God was blessed by this gift.

The greatest gift that we can offer to others is the gift of God’s love. We do this by giving of our resources and ourselves and we tell them that Jesus Christ loves them so much that He took their place on the cross. Nothing blesses the heart of God more. Now—go—“Bless HIS Heart”!

Pastor Ralph
February 2007 Newsletter Column
Bethesda Baptist Church
Durham, NC